WEIRD NOISE NIGHT

Only in OB. People say that all the time. OB stands for Ocean Beach, where I live. (Not the San Francisco Ocean Beach, the San Diego Ocean Beach.) Whenever something odd, bizarre, nasty, ugly or incredibly beautiful, someone is lurking saying "Only in OB". It's usually someone that doesn't live in OB. Today I caught myself saying "Only in OB". I had just gotten out of the water and was beginning the walk home when I saw this cat with what appeared to be a Theremin. It turned out it was. The guy practically forced me to play it, showing me how. He was dark skinned, healthy build with Willie Nelson type braids, some ink and a bunch of wrist accoutrements. Dude was in my face and super hyper. Didn't seem like a tweaker, was too energetic to be stoned and he didn't smell of hooch. My guess is he was always excitable and in someone's face. Either that or on acid.

Anyway, so I'm messing with his Theremin (it turns out it's a Moog Theremini) and I was still dripping wet from my dip. The guys showing me how to wiggle your hand around a wand, his instructions: "like you're in a pussy". Okay then, I guess it's Theremin lesson in "locker room talk". The guy was nice and everything but I had to get going. Walking up the alley, thinking about all the juxtapositions of the last half hour, I caught myself muttering "only in OB".

I came home and started digging through my old posts that were tagged "theremin" and, lo and behold, I came across an online Theremin that approximates a real one, except it's not the movement of your hand, but the cursor. Here's what I wrote back then:

I know very little about theremins. I know that you play them without your hands touching them, that the Beach Boys used one to make the weird noises on "Good Vibrations", and that a bunch of old sci-fi movies used them for eerie sounds. Other than that, squat. I'm ignorant of all of the technical mumbo jumbo. There's a couple links below to Wikipedia entries if you're that into it. But the rest of you knuckleheads might find the online theremin simulating doohickey amusing. I just messed with it for a couple minutes and was able to replicate, accidentally, some familiar sounds. (NOTE: To start, click on the circle in the top right of the screen. It will tell you that you have to download an app but that's only for phones. On a laptop or desktop, you're good to go. One hint, keep your right clicker down while you move the cursor around willy nilly.) Depending on you propensity to indulge in time sucking distractions, you'll either find it very cool and fuck with it for hours on end, or, as I did, shrug meat. Cool nonetheless.

The songs from Messer Chups are down there because they feature Lydia Kavina (pictured above), who is apparently renowned and has been playing the Theremin since age nine. She also happens to be the granddaughter of Léon Theremin's first cousin. No mention of Kevin Bacon.

~ NOTE: ALL MEDIA IS HOSTED BY THE BLOGS & SITES NAMED BELOW ~

Listen:
Messer Chups - Instro Monster Cresendo mp3 at Internet Archive
Messer Chups - Orgia of the Dead mp3 at Internet Archive
Messer Chups - Devil Exit From Fashion mp3 at Internet Archive

Visit:
Theremin at Femur Design Online version, obviously not the real thing.
Theremin at Wikipedia
Léon Theremin at Wikipedia