IT'S THE EGGNOG BABE.

I'd forgotten all about this one. Obviously, you can see it's the Hives with Cyndi Lauper. Ho-hum, right? Go on thinking that. Go on, play it for your granny without listening to it first. Ho-hum it up. I wish I could be there.

There are some colorful lyrics in this one, made more potent with the big production. It really is like a Spector Wall of Sound thing. Loud.

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Listen:
The Hives and Cyndi Lauper - A Christmas Duel mp3 at Blogbdon

MORE ICING FOR THE 2020 CAKE

Oh hell yeah. I thought this link was gone forever. This unlikely pairing works, due in no small part to the big wall of sound type production. If you haven't heard "A Christmas Duel" I don't want to ruin it for you. In fact, it is such a heartfelt holiday ditty that you should withhold listening to it yourself until you can spring it on your office party, or better yet your family gathering when all the kids and in laws are in attendance, because there's nothing like the look of holiday joy on the faces of a group of people when they all hear it for the first time.

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Listen:
The Hives and Cyndi Lauper - A Christmas Duel mp3 at Blogbdon

GO BACK AND CHANGE

Well oh well, look who's back. If it isn't the fucking Hives. Top hats and all. I don't know how many of you remember when they first made their initial splash, with Veni Vidi Vicious, in 2000. It was right about the time the White Stripes and the Strokes broke, and the music press was heralding a garage revival. The Hives and the Strokes snoozed, and missed the boat. The only band that really harnessed the momentum was the White Stripes.

Here's an oldie but goodie for you.

The Hives didn't release a follow up LP for four years. A friend of mine, who was in a band with a similar trajectory, told me back then that they were holding out for more money. For whatever reason, they ended up in garage purgatory, which is fine. Save the odd one hit wonder, I'm of the opinion that most garage bands do better in the shadows. So I'll give it to the Hives for sticking with it. And, even after all these years, their "everybody else sucks" routine still gets me. It's almost comical. They're like this cartoon band.

Here's two from the new one (one is streaming only), and a link to the whole LP streaming at Brooklyn Vegan. I've only gotten to the third song, "I Want More," which I dig quite a bit. (Go there to hear "I Want More".) I've played it three times. If you can imagine all of this thrown in a blender: Joan Jett, "Memo From Turner," David Johanson (early Dolls), X's version of "Wild Thing," and a "Shakin' All Over" type lick. The words ain't bad either. "Go Right Ahead" sounds like they were listening to TRex. You'll see what I mean. This could take a while.

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Listen (from the new one):
The Hives - These Spectacles Reveal the Nostalgics mp3 at Ace
The Hives - Go Right Ahead (streaming) at Rolling Stone
The Hives - Lex Hives (Entire new LP, streaming) at Brooklyn Vegan
Other stuff:
The Hives - Hate to Tell You I Told You So mp3 at Surf Atlantic
The Hives - Main Offender mp3 at Burning Heart
The Hives - You Dress Up For Armageddon mp3 at Why Prime
The Hives - Tick Tick Boom mp3 at Treeswingers
The Hives - Abra Cadaver mp3 at Tune the Proletariat
The Hives - Diabolic Scheme mp3 at Music Like Dirt
Visit:
The Hives at Wikipedia
The Hives - Official site

DIDN'T WE JUST DO THIS?

Here they come folks, as dependable as cheese balls, sugar ODs, and heavy drinking, the consolatory holiday mixes. For those with at least a toe in the humbug pool, these mixes have the stuff that will make forget what a crass, phony, consumer driven holiday that Christmas is. Holy crap. This is the way that you celebrate the birthday of your deity? Yeah, okay, pass the bottle.

So, here's Spread The Good Word's Reverend Tom Frost's Bloody Holiday Mixes. Tons of mixed up stuff: James Brown, the Ventures, Hank Snow, Davie Allan,...all sorts of stuff that will have you smiling while you're digging for toothpicks. (Check the song lists.) There's a few songs from other sites too, for those of you who don't feel like diving into mixes.

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Listen:
Cyndi Lauper and the Hives - A Christmas Duel mp3 at Swedes Please
The Bellrays - Gimme Some Funk For Christmas mp3 at Big Rock Candy Mountain
Shonen Knife - We Wish You A Merry Christmas mp3 at Bottom of the Glass
The Sonics - Don't Believe In Christmas mp3 at 4Shared
The Mixes:
Spread The Good Word Bloody Holiday Mix 9
Spread The Good Word Bloody Holiday Mix 8
Spread The Good Word Bloody Holiday Mix 7
Spread The Good Word Bloody Holiday Mix 6
Spread The Good Word Bloody Holiday Mix 5
Spread The Good Word Bloody Holiday Mix 4
Spread The Good Word Bloody Holiday Mix 3
Spread The Good Word Bloody Holiday Mix 2
Spread The Good Word Bloody Holiday Mix 1

GIVE THE SCROOGES SOME

'Tis the season, eh? You got that one, buddy. Let's just face it. It went from the celebration of religious icon's birth, to a month long (and getting longer) gluttony of shit you and I don't need. It's so perverse. Sometimes you figure you should just go with the flow, endure the shit the best you can, and try not to make waves; because it's just easier that way. Or is it easier? I just had an unproductive day of running around looking for anything, anything that would end this aimless shopping misery. So, today's not the best day to ask me.

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Viv Albertine - Home Sweet Home (For Christmas) mp3 at Joyzine
Rocket From The Crypt - Cancel Christmas mp3 at Can You See the Sunset From the Souths
Cyndi Lauper & the Hives - A Christmas Duel mp3 at SwedesPlease

ANDRE GETS SQUAT

I know the Nat King Cole Christmas album by heart. Likewise with the Burl Ive's pre-Rudolph outing. Both were on constant play when I was a kid, So you'll have to excuse my tipping of the hat to a few ne'er do wells. At least they're bold enough to get in the fatman's face. These two songs are for those who find the holidays are often a cone of silence over misdeeds perpetrated during the first eleven months of the year.
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In "A Christmas Duel," over Spector-esque sleigh bells, Cyndi Lauper fesses up, "I burned the Christmas tree, and I slept with your brother. I wrecked your daddy's car, and went down on your mother," all before admitting to the most grievous offense "I burned your record collection"! Oh, sweet straw covered manger rat! Getting stiffed on the money day is not enough! Cyndi, I always kinda liked your cute offbeat shtick, but that's just fucking unforgivable! And Andre, dude, you're the Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot incarnate, after decades of forgetting. You get nasty, but you do leave my records alone. Still...

On a side note, if you are really into holiday music, but not necessarily the traditional type, you'll do well to stop by Big Rock Candy Mountain. An excellent blog year round, at this time of year they are indeed "serving up heaping platters of trash/soul/country/blues Xmas joy" including everybody from the Sonics to trucking god Dave Dudley. More nog, less egg!

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EXPLICIT: I would advise previewing these songs before playing them in a public gathering, family, office or otherwise. In other words, they are explicit, but in a strangely amusing way.

The Hives & Cyndi Lauper - A Christmas Duel mp3 at Snuthing Anything
Andre Williams - Poor Mr. Santa (Andre Williams is Naughty mp3 at Big Rock Candy Mountain